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Manchester United


Old Game

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Gone are Michelangelo-esque masterpieces that are Hargreaves and CR7 but what can this current batch muster up?? 442 is the formation, for life, brah.

 

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David De Gea - That scrawny look is probably quite popular with the gay following. Some Hispanic girls find blonde hair to be quite exotic too, something I've experienced myself.

 

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Rafael Da Silva - Adorable curls and all that. Ahead of his brother due to less spotty face, broader shoulders and the fact that I want to see if there will be an outrage if he's left out of this team as well.

 

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Nemanja Vidic - He could probably chat up just about every girl whilst walking his fight dog, wearing a ropey tracksuit. Roman gladiator meets Eastern European no-nonsenseness.

 

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Jonny Evans - Pretty plain looking but has got boyish looks and a certain "lad" charm, I predict he wont age well though.

 

 

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Patrice Evra - Almost aesthetically perfect except for being a tad too short.

 

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Antonio Valencia - It's hard not to be captivated by the hugeness of his shorts, they are massive! Really fills out that shirt as well. He could do without the 1870's haircut though.

 

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Michael Carrick - A classic gentle, rugged Englishman. Resolute yet shy and vulnerable. Will age with grace.

 

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Ryan Giggs - The Don Draper of the team, there's a dark underlying sexiness apparent there.

 

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Ashley Young - Bit of a pretty boy. Wouldn't look out of place as an Olympic Diver, for many reasons.

 

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Robin Van Persie - Turning into a bit of silver fox, the Roger Sterling to Giggs' Don Draper. Will age like a fine wine.

 

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Danny Welbeck - The Fresh Prince of Longsight. Tall, athletic and quite gifted too according to his supporters.

 

Subs:

 

Andreas Lindegaard - Doesn't really look that Danish. He's got none of that gormless, strawberry blonde nonsense going on. I'm convinced that he and Ben Amos has actually switched identities.

 

Rio Ferdinand - Well, he's not ugly is he?

 

Nani - Would probably pull loads of trashy girls at those trashy exclusive nightclubs.

 

Tom Cleverley - He'd be Nani's wingman.

 

Wilf Zaha - Young just about took his place, just like in real life.

 

Shinji Kagawa - Playboy of Japan. You never see a white girl with an Asian man though for some reason.

 

Javier Hernandez - I would actually like to see him let his hair grow out, would probably look even less manly though. Now he just looks like a pretty female hedgehog.

 

 

In the stands:

 

Phil Jones - Looks like something that would come out a Swiss cuckoo clock. Sorry Big Phil.

 

Alexander Büttner - He would be Vidic's less attractive, dimmer friend. That's the only way I can see him getting chicks, the non pikey ones.

 

Anderson - Looking more and more like the Hamburglar with each passing day.

 

Wayne Rooney - Nope.

Fra Redcafe. Made my day.

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Ønsker meg Shaw og Cabaye inn i januar. Perfekte signeringer med tanke på kvalitet der det trengs og mulighet for spill i Europa. Evra har spilt bedre denne sesongen, men han har på ingen måte fremtiden foran seg. Stortalentet Shaw bør hentes så fort som mulig før et annet storlag plukker han opp, og er allerede god nok til å bidra med den konkurransen Evra trenger til å prestere sitt ytterste før han forsvinner. Cabaye glir rett inn på midtbanen med Carrick, og kan fungere som en perfekt løsning frem til sommeren. Da bør vi sikte oss inn på i hvert fall én knallgod sentral i tillegg, slik at Carrick, Cabaye og den/de nye kan rullere på midtbanen.

 

Hvem vil andre ha inn i januarvinduet?

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