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Zeph

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http://www.youtube.c...h?v=KdeY1v6jC7Q

 

 

 

Dear Gaben, I wrote you but you still ain't respondin'

I left my Skype, my email

And my IRC chan' at the bottom

I sent two IM's back in 08'

But I ain't gonna hate'

It probably was my cut-rate

Mail server, so I guess it's straight

 

Sometimes I punch-in addresses

Too quickly when I type 'em

But anyways fuck it

What's been up man, how's your family?

My girlfriend's pregnant too

I'm bout to be a daddy

If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her?

I'm a name her Alyx

 

I read about your weight problem dude, I'm sorry

I had a friend threw fits too when a

drive-thru wouldn't serve em'

I know you probably hear this everyday

But I'm a Valve fanatic

I can barely wait for Ep. 3, man, I'm so ecstatic

 

I got a room full a' TF hats

And sentry schematics

I like the shit you did with DOTA too

That shit was phat

Anyways I hope you get this, Gabe

Hit me back, just to chat

Truly yours, just from me

This is /v/

 

<Chorus>

 

Dear Gabe, you still ain't PM'd or mailed

I hope you find a way, I ain't mad

I just think it's fucked up that Ep. 3's delayed

If you didn't want to talk to me

Outside Valve HQ, you didn't have to

But you could've signed my copy of HL2

That's my favorite game man

 

It's already 6 years old

We been waiting so long for closure

Now 4 years and you still say "No"

That's pretty shitty man

You run the fuckin' comp'ny

I Just wanna see whats up with Gordon man

and Alyx, G, and Barney

 

I ain't that mad though I just don't like bein' lied to

Remember when we met at E3

You said if I Skyped you, you would Skype back

See I'm just like you in a way

I never liked consoles, neither

and love FPS plus im a compulsive eater

 

I can relate to what you're doin' with your games

So when I have a shitty day

I drift away and I just play

Cause I hate these new shit games

Wish they could all be erased

I even got a sticker

Of a headcrab on my case

 

Sometimes I just crowbar only

And run through City 17

It's like Adrenaline

The fun is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is great

And I respect you 'cause you're Gaben

My waifu's jealous

'Cause I talk about you 24/7

 

But she don't know you like

I know you Gabe, its not the same

She could never know what it's like

For people like us when we game

You've gotta Skype me man

I'm the biggest fan you'll ever see

Sincerely yours, /v/

P.S. Where's episode three?

 

<Chorus>

 

DEAR MISTER, I'M TOO FAT TO FINISH OUR FLAGSHIP GAME

THIS'LL BE THE LAST TIME YOU'LL EVER HEAR ME EXCLAIM

IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS AND STILL NO CLOSURE?

I'M NOT GONNA BE COOL.

I KNOW YOU'VE HAD PLENTY OF TIME.

PORTAL AND LEFT 4 DEAD BOTH HAD A SEQUEL.

 

SO THIS IS MY HATEMAIL I'M SENDING YOU

I HOPE YOU READ IT

I'M PLAYIN TF2 RIGHT NOW

WALLHACKING ON A VAC SERVER.

HEY GABE, I JUST TURNED ON MY AIMBOT

YA DARE ME TO SHOTTY?

 

YOU KNOW THAT SONG IN THE FRAG VIDS

'AND THE FLOOR AND THE BODIES'

I THINK ITS BY SOME BAND WHOSE NAME

IS ABOUT SOME POOLS AND SOME DROWNING?

AND THE VID WAS GOOD, SO YOU WATCH IT ALL

BUT THE SONG KINDA LEAVES YOU FROWNING

 

THAT'S KINDA HOW THIS IS

BECAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAD TO GIVE

NOW IT'S TOO LATE

I'VE PLAYED A THOUSAND HOURS NOW, IM DROWSY

 

AND ALL I WANTED WAS A LOUSY LETTER OR A MAIL

I HOPE YOU KNOW

I TOLD EVERYONE YOU'RE SO FAT YOU BREAK THE SCALE

I LOVED YOU GABE, WE COULD'VE GAMED TOGETHER

THINK ABOUT IT, YOU RUINED IT NOW

 

I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP AND YOU DREAM ABOUT IT

AND WHEN YOU DREAM, I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP

AND YOU SCREAM ABOUT IT

I HOPE YOUR CONSCIENCE EATS AT YOU

AND YOU NEVER FINISH EP. 3

 

SEE GABE, "SHUT UP BITCH,

I'M TRYING TO TALK"

HEY GABE, THAT'S SOME NEWBIE SCREAMIN IN THE PUB

BUT I DIDN'T TAKE MY TIME, I JUST KNIFED HIS BACK

SEE I AIN'T LIKE YOU

'CAUSE IF I DO SOMETHING I DO IT QUICK

LIKE YOU DID WITH EP.'S 1 & 2

 

WELL, I GOTTA GO

I'M BOUT TO CAP THE FLAG NOW

OH SHIT! I'M BANNED!

HOW THE FUCK DID THE ADMIN FIND OUT?

 

<Chorus>

 

Dear /v/, I meant to write you sooner

But I've just been busy

Got some startup ventures with DOTA

And Steam for the PS3

Look I'm really flattered

You would call your daughter that

And here's a coupon for TF2

It'll get you some cool starter hats

 

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the offices

Or outside the HQ

Don't think I did that shit on purpose

Just to diss you

And what's this shit you said about

You like to melee only HL2?

I say that stuff just joking, friend

C'mon, how fucked up is you?

 

You got some issues /v/,

I think you need some help, man

To help your ass from clogging up the forums

Over there at 4chan

And what's this shit about Episode

Three taking too long?

Truth is we just take our time

so we won't get the story wrong.

 

I really think you and your waifu

Need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter

I just hope it read this shit today

Before you go insane

I think that you'll be doin' just okay

If you'd chill out a bit

 

I'm glad I inspire you

But /v/, why are you so mad?

Try to understand

That I'm trying to finish Episode 3

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one shit on a forum

A couple days ago that made me sick

 

Some dude was drunk and was hacking in a pub

And had the server hella mad

And he was screaming over voice

And the admin just had him banned

But I don't recall his steamID?

Come to think about it

His name was, it was /v/... Damn...

 

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