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Ken Rockwell vs. Chuck Norris


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Originalen er bedre, men mindre relevant her...

 

 

* Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

 

* Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

 

* Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

 

* Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

 

* Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

 

* Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

 

* Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

 

* Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

 

* Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

 

* Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

 

* When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

 

* Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

 

* Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

 

* Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

 

* Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

 

* Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

 

* Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

 

* Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

 

* Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

 

* Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

 

* When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

 

* Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

 

* On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

 

* Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

 

* When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

 

* For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

 

* Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

 

* Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

 

* Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

 

* The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

 

* Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

 

* A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

 

* Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

 

* Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues

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Selv om en har en masse fine Mercedeser, så er det jo greit å fremdeles få lønning.

 

Uansett så syns jeg han skriver mye bra. Selv om alt kanskje ikke funker for alle, så er det jo ikke direkte feil det han skriver. Han nevner jo til og med flere ganger at det han skriver er det som fungerer for han, og at en selv bør finne ut hva som fungerer for en selv. Men ja, han har en tendens til å overdrve.

 

edit: om se# mener noe av det tekniske er feil så skal jeg ikke si meg uenig.

Endret av Arbakadarba
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Han skriver mye fornuftig (vel i hvertfall en del), for eksempel om å gå ut og ta bilder med ustyret du har.

 

Men på en del tekniske ting skriver han ting som er direkte feil. Det gjeldre for eksempel digital kontra film fra et par dager tilbake (alle digitalkameraer bruker ikke bayer interpolasjon) og en del om fargerom/Raw osv.

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"Om du lærte noe du ville måtte kjøpt en dyr bok for å lære [...] kan du jo donere litt [...]"

 

Det er en ting at om verden var rettferdig, så ville mange donert litt, spesielt etter å ha lest noen av de unektelig gode guidene hans.

 

Men når det er SÅ mange andre sider som gjør det samme.. Og om de lar deg donere, så lar de det være en liten knapp.

 

Bare mine 0.2.

Endret av Simon Aldra
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