Engelsk - hva er feil her?

[WhoIsLikeGod]

Hva er galt her, i følge standard Engelsk?

 

A month after Serena left, there were two good moments. Claudia raised her hand and said, Mr. McCourt, you really nice. The class nodded yeah, yeah and the Puerto Rican boys smiled in the back of the room.

Then Maria raised her hand. Mr. McCourt, I got a letter from Serena. She said she never wrote no letter in her life and she wouldn'ta wrote it but her grandma told her. She never met her grandma before but she loves her because she can't read or write and Serena reads the Bible to her every night. She said, this gonna kill you, Mr. McCourt, she said she gonna finish high school and go to college and teach little kids – not big kids like us because we just a great pain but little kids that don't talk back and she say she sorry about the things she did in this class and to tell you that. Some day she gonna write you a letter.

[serrghi]

Gylden regel, aldri bruk "gonna", heller "going to".

 

Men hva er det du trenger hjelp til egentlig? ser opptil flere feil som går på setningsoppbygging. Trenger du hjelp til å skrive denne teksten din litt mere logisk engelsk? Er mye som står her som ikke gir mye logikk, og høres fullstendig feil ut.

Er det en oppgave du skal finne gramatiske feil, eller er det snakk om å skrive denne teskten om, til skikkelig forståelig engelsk?

[WhoIsLikeGod]

Trenger å få skrivd teksten til skikkelig forståelig Engelsk. Det er det som er oppgaven, men trenger alt riktig og en fasit å se på.

[Skavold]

Merkelig tekst. Virket veldig verbal, skal jeg være ærlig.

[WhoIsLikeGod]

Merkelig tekst. Virket veldig verbal, skal jeg være ærlig.

 

Det er faktisk verbal tekst. Det er skriftlig versjon av noen Puerto Rico-ungdommer når de snakker.

[serrghi]

litt vanskelig og plukke ut hva teksten egentlig prøver og forklare da det høres ut som om teksten er skrevet av en 7år gammel vietnam prostituert. Litt ala "me so horny" osv. Men uansett kan prøve og få litt logikk på teksten.

Vi tar setning for setning(jeg skriver det jeg mener er rett).

 

- A month after Serena left, there were two good moments.

Litt usikker her, pga setningen høres helt tullete ut. Men litt vanskelig og sette fingeren på hva som egentlig bør stå her siden teksten som helhet ikke gir mening.

 

- Claudia raiser her hand and said, "Mr McCourt, you're really nice."

- The class nodded and said "yeah", the puerto rican boys in the back of the room smiled.

- Maria raiser her hand.

- "Mr McCourt, I got a letter from Serena.

- She said she's never written a letter in her life and she wouldnt have written it unless her grandmother told her to. She had never met her grandmother before, but she loves her because she reads the Bible to her every night.

- She said this is going to kill you, Mr McCourt. She said she is going to finish high school, go to college and then tutor children - not big kids like us, because we are just a pain, and small kids dont talk back.

- She said she was sorry about the things she did in this class, and to tell you that some day, she will write you a letter.

 

 

Men som sagt. Teksten gir ikke så mye mening. Høres ut som en babelfish oversetting.

[WhoIsLikeGod]

Her er det jeg skrev før jeg så din:

 

A month after Serena left, there were two good moments. Claudia raised her hand and said, «Mr. McCourt, you are really nice.» The class nodded and said «yeah». The Puerto Rican boys smiled from the back of the room.

Then Maria raised her hand. «Mr. McCourt, I got a letter from Serena. She said that she had never written a letter in her whole life and she would not have written it, but her grandma told her. She never met her grandma before, but she loves her because she can not read or write, and Serena reads the Bible to her every night.» Then she said «This is going to kill you, Mr. McCourt. She said she is going to finish high school and go to college and teach little kids – not big kids like us, because we are just a great pain, but little kids that do not talk back. She also says that she is sorry about the things she did in this class and to tell you that. Some day she is going to write you a letter.»