Hjernen gjør vondt - den har lyst til å gå tilbake

[AnonymDiskusjon]

Hei.

 

jeg er 19år gamme, gutt.

 

Jeg studerer nå medisin i utlandet. Jeg er ofte veldig deprimert, ikke på grunn av studiet, eller fordi jeg har flyttet hjemmefra. Dette er en følelse jeg alltid har etter å ha mistet noe. Det gjør så vondt. Jeg vil tilbake, tilbake til tiden i vgs. Jeg har nostalgiske følelser, flashbacks ofte. Jeg dagdrømmer mye. Hvorfor går tiden framover? Hvorfor kan man ikke gå tilbake? Hva skjer med folk når de bare forsvinner ut av livet ditt? Eksisterer de ennå?

 

Altså jeg hadde ikke en "kjempetid" på vgs. Jeg var langt ifra en av de meste populære, ikke i nærheten. Det er bare det at alle menneskene bare forsvinner. Omgivelsene, de samme situasjonene, stresset, forventingene, jeg får aldri oppleve det igjen. Det er som om noen bare har tat det fra meg igjen. Det vil aldri være det samme. Det gjør så vondt.

 

Jeg har egentlig ikke noen spesiell mening med livet. Lege vil jeg ikke satse på, men jeg vil finne en kur mot aldring. Jeg vil bli forsker. Jeg skal også ta atrofysikk og kombinere dette, bare på grunn av interessen. Det gjør så vondt når tiden ikke lar seg reversere. Hvorfor kan man ikke gå tilbake? Hvorfor?? Noen fortell meg, vær så snill.  Jeg vil bare oppleve det jeg opplevde for 6 måneder siden, klasserommet, tiden med vennene mine på kvelden. Men jeg kan ikke! Fordi hele infrastrukturen er totaltforandret. Tiden har knust infrastrukturen, Hvorfor må vi gå framover?

 

Hjernen gjør vondt. Jeg klarer ikke å akseptere at noen bare har har tatt fra meg mine verdier. Det er smertefullt. Hvorfor er livet sånn?? Et helvete.

Anonymous poster hash: 3a2d8...62d

[Kikert]

Så det du spør om er hvorfor tiden ikke står stille?

 

Jeg har også lyst til å gå tilbake i tid, av diverse grunner, til et veldig spesiellt punkt der jeg hadde mer glede enn det jeg har i dag.

Endret 6. desember 2015 av Belphegor

[Malvado]

Si det du...

Jeg har fått fjernet en del av hjernen min, den får jeg aldri tilbake , men samtidlig ønsker jeg ikke å gå tilbake til da, dette hadde vært ensbetydende med død.

 

Men det er mange av oss mennesker som reagerer sånn når miljøet rundt oss endrer seg , vi er kanskje ikke helt bekvem enda og som en slags form for forsvar ser vi tilbake til den tiden vi følte som grei (selv om den ikke nødvendigvis var trygg) og kjent og lengter dit. 

 

Du er også under utvikling , spesielt siden du kun er 19 år , ting vil ikke stabilisere seg rent hormonelt før du er i midten av 20 årene og dette er noe du bør huske på , eventuelt er det virkelig ille bør du sørge for å få litt hjelp , spesielt om du har problemer som :

 

*Søvnmangel.

*depresjon og ønske om å få slutt på alt.

*en voksende negativitet rundt deg.

 

Min anbefalning er å få pratet med en lege snarest mulig med en mulig henvisning til psykolog , du trenger definitivt noen å snakke med , ring gjerne dette nummeret 116 123

Velkommen til Hjelpetelefonen 116 123

Hjelpetelefonen 116 123 driftes fra ærverdige Frogner hovedgård i Skien. I tillegg til telefontjenesten, finner du også dialogtilbudene Sidetmedord.no, Kameratstøtte.no og Arbeidslivstelefonen her. Mental Helse sine tjenester er for alle som trenger noen å snakke med eller skrive til. 

[Samsung93]

Man kan ikke skru tida tilbake, det er det spennende med livet. Det er da man lærer og utvikler seg. Livet er gøy, det er jævlig, det er vondt, det er godt, det er spennende, det er kjedelig etc.

 

Man må bare finne sine måte å takle ting på å komme seg gjennom det. For ting blir alltid bra igjen.

[AnonymDiskusjon]

Man kan ikke skru tida tilbake, det er det spennende med livet. Det er da man lærer og utvikler seg. Livet er gøy, det er jævlig, det er vondt, det er godt, det er spennende, det er kjedelig etc.

Man må bare finne sine måte å takle ting på å komme seg gjennom det. For ting blir alltid bra igjen.

Det er så skummelt å gå framover ?

 

Anonymous poster hash: 3a2d8...62d

[Samsung93]

Det er det for alle. Tro meg.

 

Ingen vet hva morgendagen bringer og det er skummelt..

 

Hjernen er alene.

[AnonymDiskusjon]

Det er det for alle. Tro meg.

Ingen vet hva morgendagen bringer og det er skummelt..

Hjernen er alene.

Jeg hadde kontroll før over omgivelsene, Været, eå vakkert. Veien hjemover. Jeg kunne gjøre hvilke bevegelser jeg ville. Nå, ingenting, det er borte . Fortiden er gone, for alltid, menneskene , forholdene vil aldri eksistere på samme måte. Det er bare så rart

 

Anonymous poster hash: 3a2d8...62d

[Samsung93]

Kanskje du bare skal innse at du må gå videre i livet og ikke leve i fortiden. Livet er kort for noen og lengre for andre, du kaster vekk tiden din ved å håpe til ting alltid skal være det samme.

 

Du danner nye forhold, nye venner, få deg barn og jobb etterhvert så vil du ha noen fokusere på annet enn fortiden du aldri får tilbake.

[Gjest Bruker-95147]

 

 

A Walk in the Woods   by Phra Khantipalo

Come with me for a walk in the woods. It is hot, silent, and nearly midday but there are patches of shade here and there where we may sit. Around us trees of forty years are only twenty feet high, so great is the struggle to survive. Many die young and never mature. You can see their young skeletons being relentlessly devoured by the termites. Taller trees are scattered here and there, battered survivors of a continuous fight for life. Many of their limbs have been torn off in sudden monsoon squalls, or else they have rotted away by fungus and disease and finally fallen off. You see that "sawdust" about this tree? Its top will soon fall as some grub is eating away its heartwood. Look over there at that young tree all askew — its roots have been attacked by some predator and so it has been blown over. And there, do you see that large tree, its bark covered with mud-plaster? The termites are under that gnawing away its green wood and when they succeed in ringing it all round then, in a single day, all its leaves will turn yellow and sixty years of growth comes to an end.

Above us, young leaves of translucent green match their brilliance against the startling blue sky. Even these young tender leaves are full of holes, delicacies for the great beetles that bumble about in the evening air. Lower down these trees, the more mature leaves are ragged and lend to the forest a threadbare look. Though they must be tough still it seems they are the food of some insect. Here and there you can see at the base of branches and round the lower parts of the trees yellow leaves hanging, stiffly awaiting, as it were, the executioner who will come as a breath of wind and bring them down. Parted, they are disjoined forever — one changing process from another changing process. They fall with a crash among the undergrowth. There they join hundreds of thousands which fell before them and litter all the ground with a crackly layer of decay. But they do not just decay slowly at their own speed. Their decay is quickened by a myriad of ants, termites, worms, and funguses, all ready for food and fighting to get it, a fearsome underground jungle in miniature.

A bird calls and is still. Far away the bells on the necks of the water-buffalo at work in the rice-fields jingle. Insects drone by. You see, insects are always either looking for food or avoiding becoming the food of others. A breeze sways the trees and a huge round wasps' nest at the top of a slender sapling looks most insecure. Danger! Flies hum and buzz, perching on a bamboo swinging in constant motion. Cicadas tick, click, and whir far and near as though they were counting the seconds of their own — and everyone else's — lives. Seconds and minutes fly into days and months towards death. A ground lizard darts for its prey, catches it and chews the living insect with great relish. Another death in this round where death goes unremarked because it is everywhere.

Ants swarm everywhere in lines, parties or armies, in all shapes and sizes, according to their species. They play a great part in the change of this forest for they are the scavengers. They have only to scent death and they will be there ready to undertake the dismemberment of the corpse. Sometimes it is still alive. No decay is uninteresting to them, it is their livelihood and they are always busy for beings never cease decaying and dying.

Spiders too are found in great variety, all of them ready to pounce on and bite to death unwary small creatures that become entangled in their shimmering webs. They hang them, iridescent in the sunlight everywhere and it is a wonder that anything can fly and yet escape them. But even spiders do not escape death, usually from the stings of their enemies, the hunting wasps. Though the swaying bough of bamboo is most graceful it has been marked as part of this menacing world by a spider's web hung among its leaves. And bamboos are cut down by men for their usefulness. Everything, the beautiful and the ugly is subject to impermanence.

Clouds pass across the sky bringing coolness to us here below. Their shapes change from minute to minute. Not even one second the same. They look very solid yet we know how insubstantial they are. They are just like this present time... changing... changing...

Look over here in the forest, a pile of ashes and a few burnt-out logs rotting away, and look: here is another older heap nearly dispersed. And other piles are round about with occasional carved wooden posts set in the ground, all smoldering. What are they? These mark the ends of men and women. This forest at the back of the Wat[1] is used for cremation. Some days, if you go in the late afternoon you will find a group of villagers, and a very simple open-topped coffin. Everyone can see the body there clothed as he or she died and looking, as corpses do unless interfered with, quite repulsive. The day of cremation is the day on which the person died, or the very next day at the latest. Change sets in fast and hideously in a body kept in the hot countries. A big pile of logs has been made and without ceremony and with no pretentious solemnity the coffin is hoisted on top. Bhikkhus having viewed the corpse are then asked to chant and some gifts are given and dedicated for the good of the dead man. Then without more ado paraffin is splashed over the pile and it is set alight. Some stay to see it burn. You can soon see the body roasting through the flames when the thin-walled coffin has burnt out... until amidst the embers there are only some charred pieces of bone... "Aniccaa vata sankaaraa..."

Now the sun, "the eye of the day," has changed his position, or we have changed ours and our short walk in the woods is nearly over. What have we seen that does not pass away? Even though I may say that I look out of the windows of my hut every day and see the same trees, how near to truth is this? How can the trees be the same? They are steadily changing they are unstable and certain to come to an end in one way or another. They have had a beginning and they must have an end.

And what about this "I" who sees these trees, the forest, the burning ground and so on? Permanent or impermanent? Everyone can answer this question, for we have seen the answer in the forest. When "I" feel depressed and look at the trees they seem stark, ugly moth-eaten specimens. But when "I" am glad and look upon them, see, how beautiful they are! If, while on our walk, we looked only at the impermanence "out there," now is the time to bring the lesson home to the heart. Everything that I am is impermanent, unstable, sure to change and deteriorate.

If impermanence meant change all the time towards better and happier states how excellent our world would be! But impermanence is allied with deterioration. All compounds break down, all made things fall to pieces, all conditioned things pass away with the passing of those conditions. Everything and everybody — that includes you and me — deteriorates, ages, decays, breaks up, and passes away. And we, living in the forest of desires, are entirely composed of the impermanent. Yet our desire impels us not to see this, though impermanence stares us in the face from every single thing around. And it confronts us when we look within — mind and body, arising and passing away.

So don't turn on the TV, go to the pictures, read a book, seize some food, or a hundred other distractions just to avoid seeing this. This is the one thing really worth seeing, for one who fully sees it in himself is Free.

— The Jewel Forest Monastery

Sakhon Nakorn, Siam