THE BIRTH OF AMERICA

[MrLee]

THE BIRTH OF AMERICA: ABRIDGED.

 

*Enter tea drinking man with monacle and intelligent accent and a cowboy*

 

british: give us your money.

 

cowboy: give us representation.

 

british: fook you.

 

cowboy: oh teah? TEAINTHESEA'D!

 

british: You dastardly fool! I OUGHTA BOSTON MASSACRE the lot of you!

 

cowboy: You suck.

 

British: No, you suck.

 

cowboy: oh yeah? TAKE THIS, IT WILL BE HEARD ROUND THE WORLD! BANG!

 

British: tis but a flesh wound! HAVE AT YOU!

 

*enter paul revere*

 

Paul Revere: I didn't really do this, but uh, OMGF TEH BRITISH R COMIGN 2 PWN US. n00babuse! OMGWTF!!1!

 

British: HAHAHA, We have you now!

 

*Colonists procede to cross delaware river*

 

British: Hah, you think that was dramatic?! You act like that will ever be represented in a famous painting or something?! HAHA!

 

Americans: Fark. I think he's right. Hey ya'll, we might lose this here war.

 

*ENTER LAFFAYETE(no, spelling does NOT matter)*

 

French dudes: Haha Britain, take zis! FRENCH WOMEN AND ANTI-SHOWER ATTACK!

 

British: ARGH, I AM SLAIN.

 

American: YEEEHAW.

 

*American & French high five, get drunk, rape the native peoples*

 

The End.

[MrLee]

The Cold War: Abridged! By The Voices

 

Germany: We surrender!

 

*allies divide germany*

 

East German 1: communism is ghey. lets go to west berlin

 

East German 2: k

 

Soviets: HARHARHAR WALL, COMRADE

 

East German 1: I'll jump it.

 

East German 2: d00d, the soviets got a sniper camping the...

 

Soviet: OMG HEADSHOT PWNED

 

Kruschev: MY SHOE WILL BURY YOU!

 

Kennedy: I AM A JELLY DONUT

 

Kennedy: STFU PINKO

 

Kruschev: I'll take that STFU and raise you Francis Gary Powers.

 

Kennedy: Shiat.

 

Kruschev: Oh yeah cubas got missles now. Move and I'll rape you.

 

Kennedy: Turkey's got missles now. Move and I'll rape YOU.

 

Kruschev: Shiat.

 

Castro: I'm relevant!

 

Viet Cong: PAY ATTENTION TO US LAR~

 

Kennedy: Shut up!

 

Stoned College Kid: Huh? OMG OUT OF VITENAM NOW LETS ALL DO DRUGS KTHX

 

Kennedy: Moon, space, blah blah blah.

 

Kruschev: Oh yeah? We'll beat you there.

 

Kennedy: Screw you, i'm going to dallas.

 

Kruschev: Why, what a good idea!

 

Jackie O: OMG HEADSHOT!

 

America: cry

 

Russia: laff

 

America: STFU biznich

 

Russia: d00d your clanleader got pwnt go communism!

 

America: ...oh yeah?! cry

 

Vietnam: we're annoying

 

America: We've noticed

 

Protesters: We're annoying too!

 

America: You smell like Europe. Take a freaking bath, damn hippies.

 

Niel Armstrong: omg teh m00n rawks.

 

Russia all together: OMG U HAX.

 

America to Vietnam: Bai.

 

South Vietnam: shiat.

 

Middle East: Oil Embargo Attack!

 

America: OMG IM THIRSTY.

 

Protesters: Hey, whats this new disco stuff? its kinda cool

 

Iranian Shah: AHHH, I've been deposed!

 

Khomeini: AYATOLLAHED!

 

US Embassy: HELP, IVE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE.

 

Carter: lets crash helicopers into the iranian desert! IT CANT POSSIBLE FAIL!

 

Iran: d00d u suk.

 

Carter: ya =(

 

Russia: Hey, fook you afghanistan.

 

UBL & Co: OMG DIE RUSSIA

 

*russia is owned*

 

Reagan: GIIIIIIIANT SPPPACE LASER~~~ BEEEW BEEW BEEEW ZOTTTT~

 

Gorbachev: Fark. Glasnost?

 

Russia: Sure.

 

Reagan: TEAR DOWN THIS WALL

 

Gobachev: you're annoying. and old.

 

Reagan: I'm an actor.

 

Gorbachev: I can tell.

 

Reagan: HAHAHAHA U HAVE A BIRTHMARK IDIOT

 

Gorbachev: My country is teh collapse

 

GHWB: PWNED

 

Yeltsin: I'm drunk.

 

THE END.

[sim]

Hhahaha ;p ganske intenst

[Gigant]

oooooohhhhhhhhh den var dritt kul men trnger mer stoff!